christmas LoVE

Baby I will not powBaby I will not cryCause I got your love this Christmas time.When the snow's on the groundAnd it's freezing outsideI got your love this Christmas time.
On every list I've ever sentYou're the gift I'd love the bestSo deck the halls and all the rest, warm me upWith your Christmas love
Hey angel in the snowI'm under the mistletoeYou are the one for my very own Christmas loveTell Santa I'm cool this yearMy present is standing right hereThank God above for my very own Christmas Love
Like a beautiful tree, you can light up the roomBut your kind of star can't be removedLike a beautiful carol, I get lost in your songAnd I will forever sing along
On every list I've ever sentYou're the gift I'd love the bestSo deck the halls and all the rest, warm me upWith your Christmas love
Hey angel in the snowI'm under the mistletoeYou are the one for my very own Christmas loveTell Santa I'm cool this yearMy present is standing right hereThank God above for my very own Christmas love
All the lovers round the world(All the lovers round the world)I can sing you Merry, Merry ChristmasMerry Merry Christmas(And Happy Holidays)And every boy and every girlStay close to the ones you loveAnd thank God aboveThat you got someone this yearThat can fill your heart with cheer
Hey angel in the snowI'm under the mistletoeYou are the one for my very own Christmas loveTell Santa I'm cool this yearMy present is standing right hereThank God above for my very own Christmas love
Hey angel in the snowI'm under the mistletoeYou are the one for my very own Christmas loveTell Santa I'm cool this yearMy present is standing right hereThank God above for my very own Christmas love

HoW fUnnY is chRisTmAs ...

he Saga of the Christmas Loser

Late home after a night out, a youngster attempted to climb into his home down the chimney.  He did not to want to wake other residents in the Judson Center social services agency; also he had broken his curfew and wanted no trouble.

In best Santa Claus mode he climbed onto the roof and let himself down the chimney; unfortunately he was too large, and he became stuck.  The 17 year old began moaning and was heard and rescued.  Fire fighters and police officers from the City of Royal Oak, Michigan, USA, had to pull him out.  The youth suffered from minor scrapes and bruises.

How They Forecast a Cold Winter

One day in early September the chief of a Native American tribe was asked by his tribal elders if the winter of 2011/12 was going to be cold or mild.  The chief asked his medicine man, but he too had lost touch with the reading signs from the natural world around the Great Lakes.

In truth, neither of them had idea about how to predict the coming winter.  However, the chief decided to take a modern approach, and the chief rang the National Weather Service in Gaylord Michigan.

'Yes, it is going to be a cold winter,' the meteorological officer told the chief.  Consequently, he went back to his tribe and told the men to collect plenty of firewood.

A fortnight later the chief called the Weather Service and asked for an update. 'Are you still forecasting a cold winter?' he asked.

'Yes, very cold', the weather officer told him.

As a result of this brief conversation the chief went back to the tribe and told his people to collect every bit of wood they could find.

A month later the chief called the National Weather Service once more and asked about the coming winter. 'Yes,' he was told, 'it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever.'

'How can you be so sure?' the chief asked.

The weatherman replied: 'Because the Native Americans of the Great Lakes are collecting wood like crazy.'

HAhAhoAH!

What things would be like if Facebook existed years ago!

About the author

Joe has 21 post on this blog.

JoeCrazy.com is filled with funny pics, articles, funny videos and anything else we think might be crazy.

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erHhH....sTuPIdO!

5 Best Things To Loot in A Riot

Oh ‘loot’, you’ve never been used so much in the past few days since the 1800s. In case you didn’t know, Britain is basically facing some sort of post-apocalyptic scene where a bunch of dumbasses who are too poor to afford a widescreen TV and too lazy to do anything about it decide that they’re going to just steal it anyway.

Think I’m overegging the apocalypse thing? Take a look at these:

For context, the rioting started when a bunch of angry kids piggybacked onto a peaceful protest at the shooting of a London resident by local police.

Some people just can’t wait until the sales. Here are five things which I guess you’d loot in the event of a massive riot.

gIrLs aGaiN...

Unless you're an adolescent male, you have already asked yourself this question, perhaps in the past few days: Is there something wrong with teen girls? Specifically, are they getting too sexy? Barely a week passes without a flash bulletin blinding us with news of another prominent preadult who is in the family way or showing off her underthings. Miley Cyrus, 15, seminaked! Jamie Lynn Spears, 16, pregnant! A bunch of Massachusetts high schoolers all having babies together! It's an epidemic!

Once the idea has taken hold, it's hard to shake off, and the fact that the presidential campaign features a pregnant 17-year-old means that the debate about teenage sexuality is growing only more heated. Girlhood sexiness seems to be everywhere: on TV shows and in movies, in advertising, in teen magazines and all over the Internet. Most disturbingly, it seems to be coming from the girls themselves: the way they dress, the way they text, the way they present themselves on Facebook and, oh, mercy, what they get up to at parties. There are whispers, stories for which the anecdotal evidence--from school counselors and child psychologists and mothers--keeps accumulating like a national pile of unwashed laundry. These suggest teen girls are getting very liberal with sexual favors, especially of the type detailed in the Starr report. In one generation, girls seem to have moved from Easy-Bake to easy virtue.

In the past four months, there have been four weighty books published on the subject, with titles like Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex Is Affecting Our Children and So Sexy So Soon. Most of these treatises have a similar thesis: young girls are sexually loose because they're aping behavior they see on TV or read about in magazines. And as if on cue, the media deliver a new 90210 with an oral-sex scene in the first episode; Gossip Girl comes back with billboards promoting it as MIND-BLOWINGLY INAPPROPRIATE ... and your daughter starts singing that alarmingly suggestive song about licking a lollipop.

Before we reinstitute the chastity belt, though, we might need to take a breath. There are lots of reasons to worry about adolescent girls having sex too early, ranging from serious health risks to the likelihood that they are seeking it for the wrong reasons to the impact it may have on their ability to maintain healthy future relationships. But is it the sex we're worried about or the sexiness? Is it what they do or how they look? And whose problem is this anyway?

Wasn't It Ever Thus?

Middle school counselor Julia Taylor of North Carolina had a conversation with her sixth-graders last year that worried her. "A lot of them were watching The O.C.," she says. "I just remember the show's multiple sexual partners, the cocaine use, and then at the end, they drink, they drive, they set fires, but all is well! There are never any consequences." Taylor understands the media better than many. Her sister Mary is a producer who has worked on MTV shows including My Super Sweet 16 and Spring Break. "I'm messing them up, and she's fixing them," says Mary jokingly. But Mary also suggests that if nobody were watching the shows or buying the products that are advertised on them, they wouldn't succeed. "We're not Little House on the Prairie anymore," she says. "The world is different. If parents said, 'You can't watch this,' and the ratings dropped, maybe we would change things."

Society has always had this Taylor-sisters duality in its attitude toward young women. Like steak-house owners trying to raise vegetarians, we idealize youth and sexiness but recoil if our young want to be sexy. What has complicated things recently is that girls are literally getting older younger. Their bodies are hitting physical maturity sooner, often before they are ready to deal with the issues of sexuality that go along with it. According to Jane Brown, a journalism professor at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, "Twelve-to-14-year-old girls who start puberty earlier are more interested in sexual content in the media." Brown's studies found that adolescents whose media diet was rich in sexual content were more than twice as likely as others to have had sex by the time they were 16.

And yet. With the pornucopia of media at teens' disposal in the past decade and a half, on cell phones and computers as well as TVs, early-adolescent sex should be having a growth spurt. But the figures don't necessarily support one. Despite a minor increase in 2006, the rate of pregnancies among teen girls has been on a downward trend since 1991. Another indicator, the incidence of sexually transmitted diseases, is alarmingly high: nearly 1 in 4 girls ages 14 to 19 and nearly 1 in 2 African-American girls, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. But this is the first year such a study has been completed, and the study doesn't separate 14-to-16-year-olds from 17-to-19-year-olds, so it's still unclear which way that trend is heading.

Other studies imply that girls, while not exactly chaste, are not behaving in ways that media reports about the hookup culture might lead us to believe. According to the Guttmacher Institute, one-third of surveyed teenagers 15 to 17 had had oral sex, and most of those were not virgins. Of teens ages 15 to 19 who had had oral sex only, two-thirds reported having had only one partner. There are plenty of people who want their daughters to wait until they get married to get it on. But failing that, many parents would prefer that their daughters have sex for the first time with someone they are in love with. Which is what the studies suggest they may be doing.

GiRl..gIrL...GirLs

It is becoming increasingly common for parents to give their teenage daughters breast augmentation surgery as a birthday or graduation present, says Stephen Greenberg, a plastic surgeon from Woodbury, New York. "There are girls and women who are devastated by the fact that they don't have breasts...

Learn more:teenage girls news and articleshttp://www.naturalnews.com/teenage_girls.html#ixzz1gy9hPhLi

haTer!

I have given people so many chances and it always seems like the people i always meet are total losers, complete waste in life, or a copy of some douche from school because they are funny or cool. People always seem to be the same no matter how much i think about it i hate everyone, i know there are many good people out there but its like im always getting stabbed in the back. All people are is a toxic waste and i agree i am too, we never have any point in being here yet people still believe in shit that isnt real, like religion, why do we get out of bed every day? everything that you do goes to nothing why i want to know why people do the things they do with no reason, i cant find one good logic.

RUdOlF May hIT uR cAR dUdE!!

As the sun set over the snow-capped peaks of the Sangre DeCristo mountains, its fading
light gave the panorama of plains and mesas to the east an eerie, supernatural glow. Even
after being born and raised near here, 30 miles north in Raton, New Mexico and having
traveled this stretch of I-25 countless times since moving to Denver, Jed Cooper was still
awestruck by the powerful raw beauty of this country.

As a nationally respected independent security consultant, Jed spent more time on the
road than anywhere else, which was just fine with him, even on this Christmas Eve. He
had never married, and his parents had passed on years ago. He had no real roots or
family, and therefore no commitments. Despite the nationwide nature of his profession,
he rarely traveled in airplanes. Sure, planes are much faster, but someone else had control
over his fate, something he could never be comfortable with. Besides, he enjoyed driving
and relished seeing everything America had to offer, from ground level.
Jed glanced at his watch, “Almost five, should be home by nine or so, plenty early
enough for a quick one at the Grizzly Rose and a good night’s sleep.”

Tomorrow would be Christmas Day, not that it really mattered. Other than dressing up as
Santa, and doing some time at the shelter for homeless families, Christmas day held little
else that was special to him.
Jed always became a bit melancholy as he drove through this area. Raton reminded him
of his childhood, his parents, and most of all, his high school sweetheart. Jenny was his
first, and only love. Whenever he passed through, he thought about Jenny.
“I wonder where she is, what she’s doing, or if she’s even still alive,” he thought to
himself. “Is she married? Dumb question, of course she is, probably has grandkids by
now. Wonder if she stayed in Raton, or went off to the big city, like we’d always dreamed
we would…”

Throughout high school, Jed Cooper and Jenny Valerio had been together, going steady
they called it then. They loved each other, and were certain they’d be married someday.
But life, and fate, is sometimes cruel to young lovers. Soon after graduation, Jed was
drafted for Vietnam. Jenny begged and pleaded with Jed not to go.
“I’d rather live as a fugitive in Canada, with you at my side, than lose you to some damn
war nobody believes in.” Jenny would sob, tears rolling down her young face, “If you go,
I can’t wait for you, I couldn’t bear the pain.”

Jed was torn between his love for Jenny, and his duty to his country, but in the end Jed
knew what he had to do. “I have to go, Jen. I couldn’t live with myself if I ran away from
this, and you couldn’t either. Don’t worry, I’ll get back O.K.”
Jenny wasn’t convinced, and being young and hurt, she threw a tantrum and told Jed
sharply, “It’s obvious you don’t love me as much as you love the thought of war and
adventure in some rice paddy half a world away. Go on and go. I don’t want to see or hear
from you ever again.”

She didn’t mean it, but she couldn’t bring herself to take it back. She knew in her heart
that Jed was the only man she could ever love.
Jed wasn’t too worried about Jenny, and he told his friends, “She’ll get over it, and she’ll
love me even more when I come home with a shirt full of medals.”

He still wasn’t worried when, the next evening, he saw Jenny at the A&W, parked with
the quarterback of the football team. Jed and Brad Simmons had been rivals since
kindergarten, and Jed figured, “She’s just trying to make me jealous.”
When Jenny didn’t even show up to see him off to boot camp, Jed began to wonder if he
might have really lost her. When she wouldn’t return his letters, or take his phone calls,
he was convinced she no longer cared. He had a leave coming after boot camp, but
heartbroken, he went straight to Vietnam instead.

In Vietnam, survival was top priority, though he thought of nothing but Jenny in his rare
moments of peace and solitude. Jed found that war really was hell, especially this one. He
did what he could to survive, and mourned the loss of many friends. One especially hot
and rainy night his platoon was overrun by Viet Cong forces and the heroism Jed
displayed, by carrying his badly wounded platoon sergeant through enemy infested jungle
to the safety of Da Nang, earned him the Congressional Medal of Honor.

Jed’s parents were absent on the day that the President of the United States draped the
Medal around his neck. His Commanding Officer had assured him that passage to the
Washington D.C ceremony had been approved for his folks, and soon after the affair Jed
found out the reason for their absence: While driving to the Albuquerque airport, his
parents were involved in an automobile accident. There were no survivors.

After losing his parents, the military became his only family. He never went back to
Raton, even for his parents’ funeral. He made a career out of the Marine Corps, then
started his own security business in Denver after he retired. He never even stopped in

Raton for gasoline, if he could help it. The memory of his parents and the love he left
behind was just too painful.
As the miles continued to roll by, taking him closer to the hometown of his childhood,

Jed wished to himself that he could somehow change the past. How grand his life would
have been, if he’d only had Jenny and his parents there to share it with him. With that
thought, he willed Jenny, his folks, and Raton out of his mind. “They’re gone, and you
can’t change the past, dummy.”
As Jed continued to guide his Corvette northward through the crisp New Mexico winter
dusk, he noticed the peak called “Eagle Tail” just to the east.

“Used to be some good deer hunting up there,” he remembered, “got a nice ten point buck
my first time.”
As he gazed up at the peak, now littered with radio towers, he saw an object flying just
above the mountain’s mesa-like base, in his direction.

“Kind of small for a military jet.” he thought. Military planes from Cannon and Kirtland
often flew at low altitude in this area.
As the object grew near, he was sure that it wasn’t a military jet, or any other kind of
airplane for that matter.

“What the…” he exclaimed out loud, as the craft neared. “It can’t be…naw…”
He quickly rubbed his eyes and set them back onto the highway. The object seemed to be
a sleigh, pulled by nine tiny reindeer. The white beard and red suit of the driverwere
plainly visible, as well as the bright red nose of the lead reindeer.

“I’ve gotta be imagining things,” Jed muttered as he turned his head for another look. As
quickly as he turned his head, Jed instinctively ducked as the sleigh bore down, on a
collision course. As the sleigh buzzed Jed’s Corvette, he lost control, crashed through a
barbed wire fence and traveled several meters, until he ended up under the bridge
spanning the Canadian River, swamped. As the car lurched to a sudden stop in the river,

Jed’s head bounced off of the steering wheel, knocking him out cold.
It took Jed a few minutes to orient himself once he regained his senses. The winter sun
had disappeared behind the mountains to the west and the air had gotten much colder.

The cold Canadian River water, now up to his neck, didn’t help matters much. Jed
couldn’t force the car door open, but he was able to escape through the driver’s side
window.

Cold, wet and near hypothermia, Jed rescued his now wet jacket from the sinking car,
climbed up the riverbank and started walking as quickly as possible northward on the
interstate toward the lights of Raton. Jed soon lost all feeling in his outstretched thumb,
but the exercise generated enough body heat to keep him going. Despite his predicament,
his mind began racing.

“Am I going nuts? Everybody knows that Santa Claus is just a myth, but the Santa piloted
sleigh was sure real enough. Was it my imagination? Was I hallucinating? Did I really get
buzzed by flying reindeer?”

As Jed continued to plod up the highway, questioning his sanity and the events that led to
his crash, he didn’t notice the passenger car that had slowed and pulled to the shoulder
behind him. The car’s horn caught his attention and he turned towards it, startled.
“What happened, mister. You need a lift to town?”
“What happened, yea, that’s a good question.” Jed retorted sarcastically.
J
ed thought to himself, “I can’t tell these people what really happened, or at least what I
THINK happened. I’d be sent to the cracker factory pretty darn quick, though a nice cozy
rubber room does sound kind of good right now.”
Jed walked over to the driver of the car. “I swerved to miss a deer. Ended up in the river.
I would sure appreciate a lift into Raton.”

The driver, a young, good-looking fella, smiled and opened the rear door. “Climb on in.

The wife brought along a thermos of hot coffee, you’re welcome to have some.”
After Jed settled into the rear seat, he saw that the young man was not alone. A pretty,
twenty-something girl, with dark hair, doe-like brown eyes, and golden skin, occupied the
passenger seat. In the middle was a child seat, filled with the bundled up form of a young
boy. There was something about the girl; like he had seen her before, but he couldn’t
quite put his finger on it.

“I appreciate the ride, young man, and this coffee sure hits the spot, ma’am. My name is
Jed. I used to live around here, a long time ago. You can just drop me off at the nearest
telephone.”

“No trouble, Jed. My name is Mike Johnson. This is my wife, Emily, and this little fella
here is our son, Josh. We live in Las Vegas, but Emily’s family lives in Raton and luckily
for you her Uncle Joe owns a towing company. Don’t you worry about a thing. Nothing’s
gonna be open tomorrow, it being Christmas and all. You just spend the night with us, at
Emily’s mom’s place. She’s a great cook, and you can use the telephone to call your
family. Uncle Joe will tend to your car after Christmas dinner, but I don’t think that you’ll
be driving it again anytime soon. Day after Christmas we should be able to hook you up
with a rental. Or maybe your wife could drive down and fetch you?”

“I’m not married. In fact I’ve really got no place that I need to be, or anyone who will
worry about me. I’ve been alone for quite a long time.”

“Then it’s settled. You’ll spend Christmas with us.”
“I wouldn’t want to trouble you any…”
“No trouble,” Mike’s wife chimed in, “Momma would love the company of a fine looking
gentleman like you… once you dry out.”

Jed took an immediate liking to the young couple. “What the heck, a good home-cooked
meal and a warm bed sure beats a motel. I accept your invitation, and I sure appreciate
the hospitality. Merry Christmas to you both.”
Emily’s eyes brightened as she exclaimed, “That’s what Christmas is all about, Jed.
People caring for other people.”

Jed winked, as young Josh peered over the car seat eyeing him curiously. As they drove
into Raton Jed noticed that the names of most of the stores had changed, but that
downtown Raton still looked much as it had twenty-five years earlier. As the car cruised
slowly up Main, Jed’s throat tightened at the sight of all the downtown Christmas
decorations, and the large Christmas tree right smack in the Main street median. The
buildings, the tree, and the decorations, combined with the backdrop of imposing snowcovered
mesas leading up to Raton Pass made downtown Raton look like Christmas
heaven. He immediately regretted ever leaving his hometown.
As the car continued up Main, through the railroad underpass and east on Sugarite, Jed’s
senses were filled with memories of many of the places he saw. Much of the town had
changed, but some places were the same as he remembered them. The Johnsons left him
to his silence, until they pulled into the driveway of a small, well-kept house on Garcia
Street. The twinkling lights of a Christmas tree escaped through the drapes of the front
picture window.

“Look Josh, we’re here. Let’s go in and give Grandma a great big hug,” Emily cooed as
she bundled the child into his coat.

Mike Johnson turned to Jed. “I’d appreciate some help with the packages in the trunk,
Jed.”

“No problem, Mike. Glad to help out.”

As Jed and the young family entered the house Emily called out,

“Momma, we’re here and we brought some company.”

A female voice answered from a hallway, “I’ll be out in a second, Emmy. Who have you
brought with you?”

Jed’s ears homed in on the voice from the hallway; there was something familiar about it.
When the woman entered the room, the packages in Jed’s arms, as well as his jaw,
dropped to the floor and his body stiffened with surprise and emotion.

“Momma, this is…”

“Jed…” the woman squeaked, as tears welled up in her big brown eyes.

“Momma, you know this man?”

For what seemed to be eternity, Jed couldn’t make a sound come from his mouth. Finally
he was able to choke out, “Jenny. My God.”

Jenny rushed to Jed’s arms, and as he embraced her it seemed that all the years they had
been apart just disappeared. Mike and Emily could only stare, dumbfounded, as the two
childhood sweethearts hugged and wept. Little Josh wasn’t the least concerned.

“Grandma, I want some candy.”

Over the dinner table, Jed and Jenny caught up on the events of their lives over the last
twenty-five years. Mike and Emily tried to remain politely silent, but could not help
asking Jed about wartime experiences. Josh, of course, was another matter. He demanded
constant attention, as children do, until finally Jenny convinced him that it was bedtime.
“The faster you get to sleep, the sooner Santa can deliver your presents.”

Mike and Emily excused themselves to put little Josh to bed, and Jed could hear their
excited whispers, when they thought they were out of earshot. For a time, he could only
gaze at Jenny, drinking in her every feature, amazed at the way time had made her even
more beautiful. Jenny gazed back at him, looking directly into his eyes, thanking the Lord
for bringing him back to her. Jed broke the silence.

“So who did you finally marry?”
He noticed her eyes widen, as if she had forgotten something, and she did not answer
immediately. Jed could just imagine an angry husband storming into the room at just that
moment. The tears that began clouding her eyes made him fear the worst. Jenny’s voice
was little more than a whisper when she answered.
“I never married, Jed. You’re the only man I’ve ever loved.”
Jed’s heart nearly melted, “And I still love you, Jen…” Then a sudden thought crossed his
mind. His voice was strained with emotion when he finally continued, “…then who is
Emily’s father?”
“You are, my darling, I’m so sorry that I never…”

Before she could finish, there was a sharp crack as the back of Jed’s chair met the floor,
after he fainted for the first time in his life.
The next day, as Jed and Mike followed Joe Valerio’s Mega-wrecker down I-25 to
retrieve Jed’s car, both men were silent, lost in deep thought. Both thought about how
strange and wonderful the twists and turns of life can be, and wondered just how
independent from fate they really were. Jed knew that he would never leave Jenny again.

He would marry her, as he always knew he would as a teen. After so many years apart,
every moment together would be treasured and from now on, every Christmas would be
even more magical. Of course, no Christmas would ever be as special as this one had.
As they approached the Canadian River Bridge, Jed was suprised to see that his car had
been removed from the river, and sat sparkling clean on the shoulder, the sun glistening
off the brightly polished chrome.
“Did the State Police already send a wrecker?”
“Could be”, Mike replied, “looks like you got a ticket on the windshield.”

Jed got out of Mike’s car, and walked over to his own. There was no evidence of the
Christmas Eve accident. In fact, the car hadn’t looked this good since it was new. Jed
reached out and took the slip of paper from beneath the wiper blade. It wasn’t a ticket, but
just a plain piece of white paper, with a short hand written note. As Jed read the note, he
broke out in hysterical laughter.
Confused, Mike asked, “What is it, Jed?”
“Nothing,” he laughed, “just a note from a good friend.”
Despite the confused look on Mike’s face, Jed stuffed the note into his pocket. He’d read
it to Jenny later.

DEAR JED, SORRY ABOUT YOUR CAR, RUDOLPH IS GETTING OLD AND HIS
EYESIGHT ISN’T TOO GOOD, BUT I THINK THAT YOU’LL FORGIVE ME. YOU
AND JENNY CAN TELL YOUR GRANDSON HOW GRANDPA GOT RUN OVER
BY A REINDEER. MERRY CHRISTMAS.
SANTA